You know that voice in your head? The one that literally doesn’t stop talking… Isn’t it so annoying? Like, I wish the ego mind came with an off switch. “Hey, brain… I need a break. So if you could just go ahead and be quiet for a hot minute, that would be awesome. Kay? Thaaaaaaanks.” Seriously. That shit is so exhausting. And sometimes… Actually, for almost everyone, most times, that voice is not so nice. Why the hell do we all listen to it?
You know that voice isn’t you, right? I didn’t really realize that until fairly recently. That voice is your ego. Not you. You are the one that’s listening to the voice. You’re the observer. If you pay close enough attention to your ego mind, you’ll quickly realize that it literally doesn’t ever shut up. Ever… But sometimes you actually stop listening, and it fades into the background. Usually that happens when you’re really focused on something else… Especially if it’s something that you enjoy. That’s a big reason why I think it’s so important for people to pursue their passions… To occupy their time with something that brings them joy. But frequently our ego minds keep us from doing that.
I feel bad for my ego. She’s so pessimistic. Like, honestly, she’s seriously such a downer. Give her any situation, and she’ll find a way to tell me the worst case scenario… She points out all my imperfections. Tells me I’m not good enough. Not smart enough. Not courageous enough. Not pretty enough. Not worthy of love. I could go on forever about that nasty bitch… I should name her. Hmmm, but then there would be a negative connotation to that name. And I know exactly what that’s like. Never mind. She shall remain nameless. Fuck her. She doesn’t deserve a name. Bitch.
Seriously though. How many times in your life have you not gone after something you want because you listened to that voice tell you that you don’t deserve it? I bet a lot. There have probably been promotions you haven’t pursued. Or clothes you didn’t buy. Or maybe a trip you didn’t go on. Even true love you didn’t go after. Because your ego told you not to. It told you that if you do, you’ll just get hurt. You won’t get hired. Your friends will tell you you look fat. You can’t afford the trip. And that boy could never possibly love you back. So instead, you sell yourself short. You keep yourself safe. You don’t take risks in order to avoid the possibility of getting hurt.
But that’s all it is. A possibility. But your ego doesn’t see it that way. She’s there to protect you. She really is there trying to help. But the thing is, you don’t really need her help anymore. We’re no longer living in caves being hunted by predators. We aren’t in constant danger. So now your ego doesn’t know what the fuck to do with herself. So she keeps herself busy. Yammering on and on and on about all the bad things that could happen, but probably won’t. Protecting you from imagined hurts and heart breaks. But here’s the problem… The consequences of listening to her are those same hurts and heart breaks. Perhaps to a lesser degree, because you’re doing it to yourself, but now your left not knowing what would’ve happened if you actually pursued that which you desire. Right? So I say, fuck your ego. I mean, I know she means well. But, seriously, fuck her. It’s time to stop listening to her negativity… And besides, there’s another part of you that’s been calling out, and you haven’t been listening. Another part of you that’s just as smart, if not smarter than your mind, that’s been relentlessly trying to get your attention. Perhaps you should start listening to her instead.
You hear her, but you just don’t listen. I hear her too. She’s a risk taker, that one. She doesn’t give a shit about borders or boundaries. Nope. She knows what she wants, and she really wants you to go after it. How come you don’t listen to her? I know. I don’t listen to her either. None of us do. At least not as much as we should. But honestly, I think your heart knows what’s best for you. She’s intuitive. She knows your soul. She knows your deepest desires. And she’s completely unafraid of going after them. Isn’t she amazing?
Maybe we should start listening to her. You know there really isn’t any reason to believe you aren’t worthy of all that your heart desires. Because you are. Worthy. We all are. So the next time your mind says you shouldn’t, or you couldn’t, or tells you you’re not worthy, maybe stop for a second and see if you can feel what your heart is whispering to you. I bet it’s saying you should, and you could… And you are absolutely worthy. And you know what? She’s right.
Ingrid Michaelson~Whole Lot of Heart