Nontoxinista

A Word on Orlando…

By June 16, 2016 Uncategorized
vigil

I’ve spent the better part of the last few days fine tuning my ‘Rihanna’ station on Pandora.  Using the handy dandy thumbs up and down buttons, I’ve crafted a station that is loaded with jam after jam.  Seems a strange way to start this post, I know… But it will make sense in just a few.

The events that occurred in Orlando were appalling.  Devastating.  Heartbreaking.  Trying to avoid everyone’s two cents on what happened is simply impossible.  Everywhere you turn there it is, staring you in the face.  It’s tragic, and something that we shouldn’t even have to think about, never mind discuss.  But these things are happening… all the time.  So what’s one to do?

Choose love.  Choose happiness.  And choose peace.  Of course that can seem really fucking hard when you know that there are folks out there that are suffering at the hands of the unthinkable actions of another human being.  It’s easy to dwell on hate and fear.  Our fight or flight response wires us to do so.  We want to take action.  Effect change.  See repercussions for such heinous crimes.  Right?  But what happens when we all do this?

More hate.  More fear.  More conflict.  More suffering.  Now I’m not saying that we shouldn’t take action.  Or that there shouldn’t be repercussions for those responsible for brutal crimes.  Or even that you aren’t entitled to your feelings of hate or fear.  Those things are all to be expected… And to a point, needed for change to occur.  But when we spend a large portion of our time and energy focusing on fear or hate, we reflect more of it back into our lives… Literally making it more likely that these types of terrible things will happen again.  Ya dig?

Let me explain… I think we can all agree that the Law of Attraction is real.  Most accept that what you believe to be true helps to shape your reality.  Right?  If you constantly expect your life to suck, it will.  On the flip side, if you believe that it will be fucking awesome, then it is.  You can see the Law of Attraction in action, on a small scale, in your everyday life.  One small thing can set you off on a path to a really shitty day… You burn your tongue on your morning coffee.  Now you’re annoyed… You head off to work and some asshole cuts you off.  You sit in traffic.  Your boss is being a dick.  The printer won’t work.  Etc., etc., etc.  It’s like you literally need to reboot your attitude in order to turn your day around.  This, in essence, is your consciousness at play.  You’re vibrating on a low frequency, thereby attracting negative experiences into your life.

Practicing mindfulness, through things like yoga or meditation, can help you to start shifting your focus and start attracting more enjoyable experiences into your life, as well as not letting the shitty moments get to you.  Most of us are really bad at this.  Myself included, but I’m really working on it.  Now let’s take this information and shift to thinking about it on a large scale.

Yes, your thoughts help to create your reality.  But our thoughts help to create our collective realities.  Get it?  It’s called collective consciousness, and research is actually starting to prove that it’s real.  Buddha knew his shit… We are literally living in the matrix.  What does this mean?  Well, when we’re all constantly bombarded with information about terrible events, and we all dwell on them, what happens?  We collectively worry about it.  We collectively fear that the same could happen to us.  We collectively hate those responsible.  And we thereby collectively make it more likely to happen again.  We’ve collectively created a vicious cycle of fear and hate that needs to be broken.

Everyone knows the sayings.  And they are true. “Do unto others as you would have done unto you.”  “Treat others how you’d like to be treated.”  “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”  “Love thy enemy.”  We’ve heard them all, but they mean so much more than what people take them for.  You need to literally love your enemy.  That’s hard as shit.  How the fuck am I supposed to “love” some psychopath on a shooting spree?  I don’t have the answer to that.  But hating and fearing them is the actual enemy.  Slowly, people seem to be waking up to this.

It’s so wonderful to see that people’s focus is shifting to acknowledging the heroes and victims in these types of crises, instead of the criminals.  And that folks won’t let fear keep them from living their lives as they so choose.  We’ve seen vigils with thousands of people offering love and support to those in need.  Global meditations with millions of participants spreading love.  And researchers using meditation to decrease violent crime rates.  These types of actions are the ultimate in defiance against those who aim to destroy us with fear and hate.  But smaller everyday actions that you take can also help effect change.

love not hate

We all need to accept that we are humans with a wide range of emotions… And we are entitled to all of them.  It’s part of what makes being human so amazing.  So allow yourself the time to feel whatever it is you’re feeling.  Just be mindful of it.  You can choose to dwell on things that make you fearful or full of hate… That’s fine if that’s what you choose.  Your mind is your own and you can use it however you want.  I choose to try not to dwell on things that elicit feelings of fear or hate.  I meditate daily.  I notice when I’m being a bitch, and try to stop.  (Try being the operative word.)  I take time to be present, look around me and notice all that I have to be thankful for.  And I actively choose to envision a future that is one I would want for my children.

If all else fails, I turn on Pandora.  Guess what station?  Yuuuuup… You guessed it.  Rihanna.  I turn that shit up so loud, I’m sure my retired neighbors hate me. (Don’t care.)  I dance around my house with my kids and act a fool.  I smile just because I know I should.  And I forget about all the terrible shit that’s happening all over the world, and choose to just have fun.  You know what would happen if we all did that?

Love.  Peace.  And Happiness.

Namaste ~ Becky

 

 

If this post interested you, I’d encourage you to do further research on your own.  Looking into such topics as, ‘collective consciousness,’ ‘the shadow self,’ ‘frequency & vibration,’ or ‘meditation’ will get you off to a good start.

 

You Might Also Like

Is It Wine O’Clock Yet?

By June 13, 2016 For your Body
wine

Yesterday… Ooohhh, yesterday.  I’m just going to put it down in the books as one of my worst. Days. Ever.  Start to finish, it was just no bueno.  This isn’t to say there weren’t good moments.  There were plenty of those.  But overall, I was just really down on myself.

Being a mama is hard work.  Sometimes it feels like I just can’t take it anymore.  If Ryan screams at me for another banana, I may just lose my shit.  If Ceci decides that right now would be the perfect time to piss her pants, it’s GAME OVER.  Yesterday was one of those days.  As hard as I tried, I just could not get myself out of a funk…. So what’s an overtired, overworked, stressed out mama to do?…  Drink wine of course!

Lots of it.

Like every last drop I have available to me.

Except I didn’t have any at home… Because, well… I had drank it all while watching the Bachelorette last Monday.  (Adios, Chad!!)  Ugh!  So now what?  I’m on my own with the kiddos, and have had it up to my eyebrows with their shenanigans.  Luckily, my amazeballs sister-in-law had invited us to come over for dinner, wine and a sleepover.  On my way I popped into the wine store to grab a bottle of my fave red wine.  And you know what?  I left the kids in the car. Gasp!  I know, I know!  It’s totally possible that the boogie man could’ve come and stolen them out of my locked car… Or worse!  They could’ve boiled to death in there in the 60 degree weather.  Bad mom!  (Eye roll.)  Sorry folks.  This is a random side rant, but I’m a ‘free-range’ kind of mama… And dragging both of them into the liquor store for a two minute errand sounded like a total pain in my ass.  Am I right?  And besides, statistics show that leaving your child in the car is actually pretty fucking safe… you know, if you have a brain and use it.  End rant.

Anyway, so I get myself a bottle of wine… And when I got back to the car my kids were still there and alive… and there were no cops in sight, just waiting to arrest me.  Phew!  I bet you’re waiting with bated breath to find out which kind of wine I got… No?  Meh, well I’ll tell you anyway.

Here’s what I got:

wino

ERA Primitivo Puglia

It’s empty… My head was bumping with morning.  I don’t bounce back like I used to.  I was so much cooler when I was 25.

me

Okay, maybe not.

So anyway, I love this wine.  And not just because I think it’s delicious.

First of all, it’s certified organic, which to a crunchy like me, is pretty important.  Grapes are one of those fruits that are particularly yucky if you eat them conventional, so the same would obviously be said for wine.  But there’s another problem.  A recent study showed that even organic wines from California are contaminated with glyphosate (the main ingredient in RoundUp), which is classified as a probable carcinogen.  No thanks! Unfortunately, most wines that are easily available to Americans are from California.  Being the world “leaders” in producing genetically modified crops makes us the probable global “leader” in glyphosate use… Though no reliable research has been done on this major issue.  Bummer!  That’s why I was so excited when I found this organic, imported wine.  It’s from Italy, where folks are fighting like hell to block the renewal license for glyphosate.  But there’s a problem…

I can only seem to find this wine at one store.  Whomp whomp!  Luckily it’s approximately one mile from my house. Woohoo!  But if I’m out and about and need to grab a bottle, I can’t always be so choosey.  So then what?  Well, I mean if you’re sporting a box-o-wine, I will definitely help you drink it.  But if I stop in a random store, I go immediately to the imports.  I will consistently choose an inorganic import over a Californian organic wine.  One, because of the issues with glyphosate contamination, but also because of the rampant use of fluoride in American water.  If you’ve been following my blog, you know my thoughts on fluoride.  Call me a tinfoil hat wearer.  Hashtag don’t care.  Fluoride is bad.  Period.  And in grapes the concentration is really high.  Allllll set.  Thank you very much.  Maintaining my genius level IQ is important to me. LOL!

So long story short, go for an organic import if you can… If you can’t, just drink whatever you can get your hands on.  Desperate times call for desperate measures.  Right?

And lastly, I’d like to share this video.  Why?  Because it’s my jam.  It makes me want to chug something.  Wine would probably be a bad idea… But sangria could totally do the trick.

Namaste bitches.

 

 

You Might Also Like

Fuck the Mommy Wars.

By April 22, 2016 Uncategorized
finger

So I wake up today and I’m oddly happy.  Like on the happiness scale, I’m a solid 10.  A ten!  Why?  Well, both my kids slept through the night, I woke up with the sun, and the weather forecast says it’s going to be sunny and 75.  What’s not to be happy about??!  So I make my way downstairs and start my morning routine.  Basically I’m bumming around the kitchen with music playing while Ryan eats his breakfast.  Ceci makes her way downstairs a short while later as I’m doing the dishes.  I make her breakfast, then as both kids are eating I make a huge mistake… I log onto Facebook.

I have 4 notifications.  I click through 3 of them quickly… a couple ‘likes’ and ‘hahas.’  No biggie.  Then there’s one notification from a holistic mommy group I’m in.  I click on it and read the post.  I’ll spare you the actual wording (because it has since been deleted), but the admin of the group, a mommy and homeopath with a medical degree, is on a fucking rampage.  She says something along the lines of, “I’ve had enough! I’m ready to shut this group down!  If you’re dumb enough to think that colloidal silver and essential oils cure everything, you’re in the wrong group.  Read my pinned posts and sign up for my classes or get lost.  So many of you just don’t get it.  Get with it or get lost.”

BOOM.  Happiness scale goes from a 10 to about a 2.  Who the FUCK does this bitch think she is??! I can’t even deal.  I can’t even deal.  I can’t even deal!  My first instinct is to write an equally bitchy comment about her being a total cunt…. Yeah, I said it.  So what?!  How dare she ruin my morning with her negativity and egotistical attitude!  This woman runs a group with close to 4,000 mothers, who obviously have varying levels of time, awareness, money, understanding and commitment to a holistic lifestyle.  Fuuuuuuck her!

angry

I sit and fume.  No one else has commented.  I decide to use my better judgement and wait on giving a response.  I return to my beautiful, healthy, wonderful children, sing a couple songs, wash a couple dishes, contemplate cracking a beer but decide better of it (haha!), then return to the post that almost ruined my mood.  Deep breaths… “A little compassion goes a long way.  I understand your frustration, but your tone certainly doesn’t help your cause.  We are each in our own place and time, doing the best we can from our own perspective.  Sending love to each and every mama in this group.”  I reeeeeaaaally wanted to insert the middle finger emoji, but I didn’t.  Mostly because I don’t know how to without a smart phone, but also because that would be mean.

It BLOWS my mind how people, and mamas in particular, have no problem tearing each other down.  I just don’t get it.  At least once a week I have one of these moments.  Usually it’s on social media, but sometimes it’s in person.  Comments, posts, likes, and shares that are meant to hurt or belittle others who hold a different perspective.  And there isn’t any one ‘type’ of mommy that’s guilty of this behavior… It’s everyone.  Here’s a small sampling of the hatred I’ve seen spewed toward others in the recent past:

“All of you should just move to an island together and die.”

“I lost the argument, because you know, you can’t argue with stupid.”

“We’d all be better off if you would all just go kill yourselves.”

“You’re a fucking idiot.  Take your so-called ‘science’ and shove it up your ass.”

“Good luck when your kid gets cancer.”

Shall I keep going?  I’m assuming you’ve read enough to make your stomach turn.

I don’t get it.  I just don’t get it… Why the hate?  It’s so tiring.  You know, I used to try to convince people that my  way was the right way.  I’ve given up on that.  Unless I’m directly asked, I usually keep my opinions to myself.  Mostly because people don’t want to hear something in opposition with their own point of view, but also because I’ve realized that, although I wasn’t spewing hate or judgement, people perceived me as thinking I knew it all… and I definitely don’t.  I’ve also come to realize that folks just aren’t willing to listen to what they don’t want to hear… Including me.  That goes for any issue, regardless of your stance.  We have our own strongly held beliefs, and God damn it, we are sticking to them!  Am I right?!

It’s kind of a shame isn’t it?  That we can’t just hear each other out?  Listen to each others’ points of view?  Respect our individual differences and life experiences?  I mean, no joke, there are moms that will throw down the gauntlet over another mother feeding her kid Doritos… or from a different perspective, for choosing not to reduce a fever with Tylenol.  Gaaaaah! Give me a friggin’ break!  I’m tapping out.  Y’all can battle to the death and I will sadly watch from the sidelines.

But here’s the thing about the so-called “Mommy Wars”…. It’s a choice.  You choose to participate, or you choose NOT to.  Ya dig? Bitches be crazy.  I know.  But we don’t have to fall victim to it.  We can choose acceptance, tolerance, joy and love.  Right?  I mean, I suppose that’s what I tried to do today.  I wanted to tell so-and-so to go fuck herself.  But I didn’t!  Go me!! Instead, I chose my words carefully.  It’s something I’m working on.  Of course my mind may be saying something else completely… But like all our moms once tried teaching us:

Don’t judge someone else until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

namaste

You Might Also Like

Why I gave up my “smart” phone for a dumb one… And how much it sucks.

By March 7, 2016 For your Body, For your Home
apocalypse

A few months back, in a fit of 4-year-old rage, my daughter chucked my cell phone across our living room, smashing its screen.  I was pissed… really pissed.  But also somewhat relieved.  You see, I had been telling myself for months that I needed to get rid of the damn thing.  It being broken was the perfect opportunity.

Flash forward about three months.  I was still using my smart phone with the smashed screen.  I just couldn’t seem to let it go.  I don’t know what it is about that damn phone… The radiant blue light?  The Facebook app beckoning me to click on it?  The ease with which I can get from point A to point B, using the handy dandy navigation?  Whatever it was, I. Just. Could. Not. Let. Go.  You can’t let go either, can you?  Like right now… You’re staring at that damn thing.  Your kid is probably crying.  Your laundry is piled a mile high.  There are toys everywhere.  And let’s not even talk about your dishes… But there you are.  Staring at your tablet, reading this post.  I get it.  I was right there with you, until one fateful day.

I had left Ryan in the playroom while I quickly ran to the kitchen to make a bottle.  When I returned, that little monster had my phone in his clutches.  It was like slow motion.  As I hurdled over the pressure gate, he tossed the phone in my direction.  I dove to try to catch it, but alas, it crashed to the floor.  That was it.  The death of my cell phone.  Now I had no choice but to replace it.

What did I replace it with?  This bad boy:

dumb

Sexy, eh?  I know you’re envious.  You wish you had a phone just like it, don’t you?  Okay, just kidding.  You think I’m crazy.  I mean, I guess you’re kind of right.  I really miss my smart phone.  Like, reeeeaaaally miss it.  So why did I do it?  Basically for two reasons:

forehead

ONE:  I am opting out of the zombie apocalypse.  I seriously can’t handle people constantly staring at screens.  It drives me batty.  I used to be one of these zombies, constantly scrolling… Basically looking at nothing.  Meanwhile, my children would make bids for my attention, many of which I’m sure I missed.  Imagine how that makes them feel.  In the waiting room, elevator, walking down the street, at restaurants… Literally everywhere, everyone is missing LIFE while they stare at a screen.  Ugh!  It’s so annoying.

Random side note… Did you know the CDC has a preparedness kit for a zombie apocalypse?  I shit you not.  Look for yourself.  The end is near. LOL!

zombie

TWO: I have some serious concerns about exposure to radiation via wireless devices.  We’ve all seen the articles about young women getting breast cancer from tucking their cell in their bra.  And the article about Steve Jobs strictly limiting his childrens’ use of iPads.  The evidence is clear.  EMFs are bad.  But most of us just don’t give a shit… Or are so fucking addicted to our screens that we just can’t stop.  Either way, it’s a problem that almost no one seems to want to address.

All things considered, I’d have to say, I’m mostly happy with my decision.  When I’m out and about I’m more present.  I’m not tempted to slip my hand in my purse and quickly check social media, the weather, my email, or whatever.  If I’m out socializing with friends or family, I don’t have the option to “zone out,” which makes for a more enjoyable experience… Except when everyone else is zoned out.  That pretty much blows.  It’s one reason why having a “dumb” phone sucks.  There are other reasons too:

Texting.  Holy shit, does texting suck from my new/old phone!  I don’t receive group texts.  Scrolling through texts is a bitch.  Typing isn’t nearly as easy. And most importantly, I really, really, REALLY miss my emojis.  I mean, how did we ever survive without them?  Reading emotion or sarcasm in texts is nearly impossible without those little guys.  Now I’m limited to :),  :(, and :/.  Every once in a while I may make a 3==D~ just to be funny, but seriously… I have very little to work with!  My husband and I have resorted to texting in hashtags in order to know for sure that we are joking around and not just being total assholes:

Me: When the fuck are you coming home? #whythefuckdontourkidssleep

Mike: Grabbing a drink with the guys after basketball. #sorrynotsorry

Me: If I had emojis I’d insert the middle finger one here… And the red angry face.

My texts used to look something like this: (Okay, you will have to imagine the conversation bubbles… I’m not great with technology. I know you’re shocked!)

FML. I had to change five shitty diapers today.  FIVE! poopmask

I love me some emojis.  I seriously can’t get enough… Oh, and to make matters worse, when someone sends me a text with emojis, they show up as empty boxes.  What the FUCK am I supposed to do with that??!  It leaves me hanging, left without a shred of evidence as to how the sender is feeling.  It’s a total drag.  Sometimes I text back and ask, because I truly am befuddled.  Other times I just imagine which emojis I think they are.  I have seriously considered rejoining the zombie apocalypse simply to regain my beloved emojis.  Thus far, I have resisted.

What else sucks?  I’ll tell you what… Not having navigation.  Without one, I literally can’t find my way from my ass to my elbow.  It’s actually kind of embarrassing.  I am seriously geographically stupid… Like, stuuuuupid.  And here I am, going on Google Maps and writing out directions like it’s still 1990.  Fucking ridiculous.  So obviously I bought a navigation for my car.  The only problem is, it sucks… Well at least compared to the navigation I had on my phone.  What can I say?  I hate change.

And lastly, it really sucks how much people give me shit about my new/old phone.  Especially Mike.

 

I call him up…

Me: Hey, can you go online and see where the nearest bank is?  I need to deposit a couple checks.

Mike:  Can you get rid of that fucking phone and join this century?

Me: Be nice!

Mike: You’re so annoying.

Me:  I love you too.

 

I call him up…

Me: Hey, there’s a detour on Whitney Street and I need to get to Rt. 27.  I have no clue how to get there… A little help?

Mike: Here’s some advice… Get a fucking smart phone.

 

I call him up…

Me: Hey, can you check online if…

Mike: Nope.

 

You get the point.  It can be super inconvenient for me, and uber annoying to Mike.  I still haven’t decided if it was the right decision.  What do you think?

 

You Might Also Like

Why I Swear And Just Don’t Give A F*ck…

By January 27, 2016 Uncategorized
swear

When I started blogging the most frequent question I got from those who know me was, “Why do you swear so much?”  You see, if you knew me, you’d know that I don’t actually swear all that often…At least not out loud. What I’m thinking is another case all together.  As I started writing, what I was thinking just started coming out.  Yes, I realize it can sound quite abrupt, or even offensive, but guess what?  I don’t give a fuck! (Ha!)  Here’s a few reasons why you should start swearing and stop giving a fuck too:

1: Folks who swear are smarter.  Yup.  You read that right.  I’m a smart mother fucker.  And you are too!  So use that broad, beautiful vocabulary of yours to get your goddamn point across!

2: Swearing can turn you into Superman.  Well, not exactly, but sort of.  Research has found that, if allowed to swear, individuals are able to withstand pain for longer periods of time.  So if you stub your toe or accidentally chop off a finger, let those cuss words fly!

3: Those of us who swear are sexy bitches.  Awwwww yeah!  A recent questionnaire given to men found that women who swear (especially in bed, teehee) are considered sexier.  Sooooo here’s an exercise for you… Go look in a mirror and say out loud, “I’m a sexy bitch!”  You know you want to.  Go do it!  “I’m a sexy bitch!”  Say it louder like you mean it. “I’M A SEXY BITCH!”  Wooooooooo!  Look at you giiiiiiiiiirl!  You’re looking sexier already!

4: You can get a super cool adult coloring book like this one, and color swear words while you destress. (Did I mention swearing helps to reduce stress?)  Here’s a picture I colored:

Swear

If you’re having trouble coming up with a variety of swear words, visit this website to help you out.

namaste

You Might Also Like